was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
