i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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