Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
only you would photoshop your dick
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
