I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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