His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
