now i know why i became what i already was.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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