i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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