Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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