I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
