the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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