im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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