i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
