Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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