I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
