My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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