All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
