i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
