I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
