she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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