i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
