I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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