Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
