Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
