We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Can i not drive my cunt home
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
