can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
