She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize