brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
