it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
