Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
