you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Pooping to opera.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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