Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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