is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
