id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
