how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
