R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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