You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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