i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
