me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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