If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think my moral compass just broke
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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