If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize