all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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