he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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