her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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