Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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