Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
