You can't motorboat a personality
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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