like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
