I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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