Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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