if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
