Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
