In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
