on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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