I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
