I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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