weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
