i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
