you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
